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KINDLE Skipping Christmas

PDF ↠ BOOK Skipping Christmas FREE À ❰Reading❯ ➾ Skipping Christmas Author John Grisham – Johns-cycling-diary.co.uk Imagine a year without Christmas No crowded shops no corny office parties no fruitcakes no unwanted presents That's just what Luther and Nora Krank have in mind when they decide that just this once th IImagine a year without Christmas No crowded shops no corny office parties no fruitcakes no unwanted presents That's just what Luther and Nora Krank have in mind when they decide that just this once they'll skip the holiday altogether Theirs will be the only Who would ever dream that two otherwise sensible adults would skip Christmas and go on a cruise?It is a uestion posed by an idiot The idiot in uestion being Nora Krank who learned too late the awful price to be paid for not strictly conforming to your neighbors’ Christmastide expectations One is tempted to treat the uestion as the rhetorical device of an imbecile And yet the temptation to answer is overwhelming if only because the answer is so obvious to everyone except the people inhabiting this insipid Christmas novel So why would two otherwise sensible adults skip Christmas and go on a cruise? Maybe they are Jewish Or Muslim Or Hindus Maybe they have just suffered a loss and in the process of grieving don’t feel like celebrating Or maybe they live in a cold latitude where the idea of a peaceful cruise in a tropical locale is actually freaking awesome There are literally billions of people on Earth who do not celebrate Christmas Thus there are literally billions of answers to that stupid uery John Grisham’s Skipping Christmas doesn’t recognize this fact Indeed it is set in a world in which this fact isn’t a fact at all Skipping Christmas takes place in a white upper middle class suburb where such things are barely mentioned There was once a Pakistani couple in the neighborhood we are informed but they moved very uickly By the end of this nasty little work you will understand whyWe begin with a fairly anodyne premise fully articulated in this book’s title Luther and Nora Krank’s daughter twenty three year old Blair has just left home for Peru where she will be serving with the Peace Corps With their grown daughter out of the nest and facing a Christmas bill that runs to over 6000 each holiday season Luther has an inspired idea Instead of burning 6K on parties decorations food booze and presents Luther discovers that he and Nora can go on a warm weather vacation for half that amount This makes sense to me It should make sense to you This is a rational idea on a personal level daughter gone for the first time meaning the break of old traditions on a financial level you’re saving money and on a temperature level it is not snowy and icy on a cruise Going on a Christmas cruise is an excellent idea to everyone except the holiday Nazis who live on Hemlock Lane It should be noted that Luther is a tax accountant and drives a Lexus His wife is a full time volunteer and drives an Audi Their financial considerations thus necessarily fall into the realm of uptown problems Like Galileo though Luther is condemned for his heresy His main nemesis is neighborhood Gauleiter Vic Frohmeyer Vic’s job is to enforce social compliance among the residents Chiefly he ensures that everyone places a large Frosty the Snowman on their roof Because nothing says “Christmas cheer” uite like being forced to purchase install and display a decoration chosen by a guy who lives down the street This is a novel about intolerance Wait that’s not correct Sorry This is a novel that celebrates intolerance Vic soon has the neighbors rise up against Luther and Nora People trespass on his lawn and post signs People chant “Free Frosty” Carolers are sent to annoy them Their neighbors treat them coldly for their refusal to abide Frohmeyer’s edict As satire this might have worked The latent fascism of the neighbors is ripe for parody It might have been interesting to see how American notions of “freedom” and “religious tolerance” and “the right to be left alone” rub uncomfortably against the reality that “freedom” means I get to tell you what to do; and “religious tolerance” is being a Christian or shutting up; and “the right to be left alone” means you just need to surrender to the Christmas magic as it gets shoved up your – well as it gets shoved in your stocking which better be hanging on the mantel or else When I read this I kept thinking about the Christmas bullies who demand stores and cashiers say Merry Christmas as though forcing some minimum wager at Wal Mart to utter bland holiday greetings in the checkout line is somehow actualizing But I don’t think this is satire Grisham never allows that he’s in on the joke Ultimately he approves of the neighbors’ triumph over Luther’s free will Just about everyone in Skipping Christmas is a low grade monster Luther despite his utterly logical plan is also a raging asshole I suppose this is Grisham’s way of stacking the deck against him His wife Nora is a blubbering nitwit One classic scene has her discussing the cancellation of her Christmas Eve party while volunteering at a battered woman’s shelter As you might imagine the specter of domestic violence pales in comparison to Nora’s shocking decision to go on a vacation The neighbors are grim backbiting gossipy small minded conformists Scenes like the one in the shelter made me uestion Grisham’s self awareness There is little textual support for this being a satire However it occurred to me that this might be an Andy Kaufman esue performance piece Nothing in this book is funny or charming or pleasant But perhaps the overall meta joke is that Grisham created an utterly hateful fable packaged as a delightful little spree with the understanding that because it was labeled a Christmas book no one would realize they’re being conned This might be a literary version of the Rickroll I suggest this only to give Grisham some benefit of the doubt There is little evidence to support this interpretation To the contrary the weight of the evidence goes the other way We know this because the lesson that Luther is forced to learn is that you don’t skip Christmas Midway through Blair realizing that she has cut the cord of extended adolescence too uickly calls and informs her mother and father that she is coming back for Christmas She has been gone for only a month but Millennials amiright? Not only is Blair returning to the roost but she’s bringing Enriue her Peruvian boyfriend that she’s known for three weeks I mention Enriue only because the Kranks are obsessed with his skin tone Don’t worry though The Kranks uickly discover that if necessary Enriue can pass for Aryan The door opened and Blair rushed in Nora and Luther both glanced at her first then uickly looked beyond to see how dark Enriue was He wasn’t dark at all At least two shades lighter than Luther himselfWell thank God we dodged that bullet Let the bloodlines remain pure Or something I really don’t know what Grisham was getting at It made me a bit uncomfortable Anyway Blair’s imminent return means that the Kranks have to have Christmas after all Luther is verbally bludgeoned by his wife beat down by his neighbors and finally surrenders to the joys of the season There are obvious parallels to A Christmas Carol Both have wealthy men learning an important truth For Ebenezer Scrooge the lesson is social consciousness to take care of the least of his brothers and sisters For Luther it is that any attempt to withdraw from the conspicuous consumption of Christmastime will be dealt with by public ostracism Both receive this message through visitors For Ebenezer those visitors are three ghosts For Luther it is the Yuletide Gestapo coming to make sure the tinsel is on the tree I don’t write this as a cynic I love Christmas I celebrate Christmas I started watching sappy holiday movies while my kids were still out trick or treating My enjoyment however does not reuire everyone else to love it too I know plenty of people who don’t get into the season like I do for various reasons It never occurred to me to bully them into line The sad truth is that I picked this up in the spirit of Christmas cheer When I finished I just wished it was Spring

John Grisham Û Skipping Christmas EBOOK

House on the street without a rooftop Frosty the snowman; they won't be hosting their annual Christmas Eve bash; they aren't even going to have a tree They won't need one because come December 25 they're setting sail on a Caribbean cruise But as this weary c An absolute horror show of a book The two worst people in the entire world decide to not celebrate Christmas for a year and their Nazi suburban beehive neighbors treat them like they're hosting a donkey show in the front window There isn't a single character in this book who passes the basic test of decency The couple lie to their daughter and treat her like a non person The husband is a hateful a hole The wife is shallow and defeated The neighborhood men are bullies The neighborhood women are a backbiting hen house Despite the faint glimmer of kindness in the last chapter this book is a contemptable look at contemptable people Merry Christmas shitheads

KINDLE à Skipping Christmas Û John Grisham

Skipping ChristmasOuple is about to discover skipping Christmas brings enormous conseuences and isn't half as easy as they'd imaginedA classic tale for modern times Skipping Christmas offers a hilarious look at the chaos and frenzy that has become part of our holiday traditio I was not much impressed by this book I should have read the reviews closely because lots of people seem to feel the same and worse The story was weak the characters unlikeable and there was really very little humour For me it fell apart right from the basic premise that the Kranks were doing something unusual in going on holiday over Xmas Really? Millions of people do it every year including me some years And the neighbours were just awful I suppose it was intended to be funny but I barely raised a smile Apologies to readers who liked it but it obviously was not my cup of tea